today is the day. double confirm

harini 27/12

awal2 husband tanya nak pergi klinik bila?

 i said pagi ada meeting sekolah. pergi petang jela lepas balik kerja..

OK

pukul 5.30 siap2 mandi solat and tunggu husband balik

dalam pukul 6 baru gerak.. siap bekal sebotol air.. nak bg pundi kencing penuh..

sampai klinik, menunggu giliran.. rasa nak terkencing je minum banyak air..

my husband tanya nervous ke? mcm muka takut je,,

of course im nervous! mcmne kalau hasilnya tak bagus?

bila dipanggil..doc tanya ada pendarahan x? i said no. ok lets do the scan..

kali ni tanpa diajak husband pn masuk bilik scan sekali.. sebelum ni ajak pn geleng je.. maybe he is excited to know the result..

masa letak gel kt perut and mula letak scanner.. takot gile..pasrah.. and skrin pn mcm gambar tgh loading bila internet slow. i was just like: alamak xde ke?

sekali doc gerakkan ke bawah n ada satu bulat besar and a fetus inside.. ada nampak kelip. doc kata tu jantung.. ALHAMDULILLAH BERSYUKUR SGT!! satu anugerah bila tgk baby kt dalam perut tu..

she asked me awak baru kencing ke.. sbb rahim kecik lg..so baby kt bawah. kalau awak penuhkan pundi kencing awak.. pundi yg duduk atas rahim akan ke bawah so scan akan nampak cantik atas perut..

i told her mmg la baru kencing tp dah minum sebotol air.. mungkin belum ckup penuh lg..

tak kisahla.. as long ada image baby muncul kt screen..

doc measure and its 9 weeks!! yaaa doc salah bgtahu haritu. it should be 9 weeks today!

im so happy. doc ask kat mana nk buat  1st prenatal check up?

we havent decided yet!
so doc x bg appointment. tp dia kata kalau nak check up kt klinik.. dtg lg 3 weeks which is in middle of jan..

hmmm
thank you Allah

oh btw the given estimate due date is 3/8/13   ^_____^

really finding the answer

masuk 7 weeks dari tarikh last period, we went to the other nearest clinic to do another scan.

klinik seksyen 24
walaupun nampak mesin scan mcm old school
tapi doc dia sgt friendly..

datang2 terus cakap nak wat ultrasound..
dia kira 7 weeks..
macam biasa tonyoh2 perut
langsung tak nampak

lama dia cari2 sampai peluh2 doc tu
and surprisingly dia cakap

tak nampak la..betul ke upt awak positif? dpt 2 line?
pastu rahim awak ni macam terbalik..
kalau rahim terbalik memang payah nak nampak utk 3 bulan pertama.

i just like what? rahim terbalik?
dia tanya ada bleeding tak..
i said no

dia cakap patutnya minggu dikira mesti sama ngn hasil ultrasound, kalau tak sama problem la tu..

ok made me more worried
am i really pregnant or not..

rahim terbalik buat diri lg susah hati..

abes selongkar google.. masih tak dapat info yg dicari..

hmm..sudahlah. i dont want to make anymore speculation.

just wait for 27/12

first met with doctor

Kalau ikut kiraan dah masuk 6 minggu. Hasil pembacaan rata-rata cakap 6 weeks dah boleh nampak heartbeat. so we decided to have our first ultrasound. we choose klinik kt seksyen 3 sbb dulu pernah datang and tgk ultrasound dia mcm lagi canggih..

pkul 6.20 p.m sampai klinik. Takde org.. selesai register.. doc panggil masuk.. doc pun ajak scan.

and me dah siap minum air banyak2 bagi scan nampak clear.

bila di scan. sakit betul ditekan2..
lama gak dia mencari..
risau plak.. hati dub dab dub dab

pastu dia spot something..
dia kata ada kantung bayi

tapi mata yg melihat ni tak nampak apa2 pun..
haha

doc measure kata 5 weeks..
pelik. kenapa 5? kenapa bukan 6?

lepastu doktor tu mcm garang.. takut nak tanya soalan.
sepatah je dia jawab.. muka pun tak senyum..

dia just suruh datang lg 3 minggu utk repeat scan
next appointment 27/12

hmm
malam nya buat upt lg sekali.. result clear sgt!

re-test

balik dari penang. i have decided to do the upt again. mana tau kalau salah ke apa kan.. tapi if its a double means pregnant. tp just test jelah

i ask my husband to by another brand of upt.

hari ke 8 delay.

bangun awal pagi buat bende yang sama

and the result is

i'll take it as yes. tp line masih tak clear and solid mcm the other line tu..

hari ke 10 delay. i test again. (called it obsession! ahaha)

okay line makin lama makin terang. so dah rasa confident plus symptom2 mula rasa2..

actually ada satu lg upt kt rumah ni.. HAHAHA..
nak test masa pagi before confirmed kt klinik on dec 8th. on that day dah 6 weeks 2 days.

baca kat google. 6 weeks dah boleh detect heart beat. so alang-alang tunggu jelah 6 weeks.

yelah previous experience, pergi jumpa doc awal2 bukan boleh confirm betul2 pun. doc suruh buat upt and datang lagi 2 minggu. hmm

ya Allah, Kaulah pemberi rezeki. Terima Kasih Allah. permudahkan lah segalanya. amin

answer for the question

5.30 a.m dah terbangun.. azan subuh mula berkumandang..

turun bawah collect first urin dan mula test..

the first 5 seconds when the urine drops is really exciting and nervous..

The control line appears....

and after a few seconds,

the second line appears!!! its a POSITIVE and it is YES!!

alhamdulillah bersyukur sangat2. tunjuk kit tu pada husband and kitaorg sama2 senyum... seakan tak percaya..

all the way to Penang, semuanya rasa indah2 belaka.. hehehe..

dulu masa 1st pregnancy, test masa 4 hari delay tp line yg keluar sangat2 kabur. this time the line is more clear than the previous one. it took about 10 seconds to make the 2nd line appears.. dulu within 5 minutes baru keluar fainted line tu.. syukur sgt2.. harap this time mmg rezeki kami..

3 days of delay

Dah 3 hari delay ni..
takda sign utk period ni

Mungkinkah?

aishhhh kena pastikan ni. make it clear..

i told my husband that my period had been delayed for 3 days.
So we decided to check the upt before we go to Penang for holiday.
In that case, we can make something if it a yes.
Behind that, my husband told me to prepare Kotex in the bag. (OK! mcm tak optimis je)

so upt dah ready. esok subuh2 nak test. hope ada berita gembira la kan..

expect an unexpected. AMIN

Am I or Am I Not?

Am I  Pregnant?

Big Q in my mind..

hari sepatutnya period. dalam hati berharap la jugak tak period and ada good news..

tapi kalau datang tak kisah la. dah biasa dah pun kan..

tapi rasa mcm tak kot.. period kan ting tong

tp mcm mana kalau ya?


tapi petang asyik mengulang ke toilet padahal tak minum air LANGSUNG!


ada harapan ke?

My TTC Story

10 months ago, i have loss my baby at early stage. 

An unplanned pregnancy leads to an unwanted miscarriages. 

mungkin rezeki belum sampai lagi. tp hikmah dari itu, aku banyak berfikir dan lebih berpijak di alam nyata.. buat lebih bersedia sbnrnya.

selepas 3 bulan recover, i have tried everything i could to conceive again.

mmg betul2 stress bila org lain baru kahwin dah pregnant. dah beranak pinak.

yg dah anak satu pun dah menambah n yang miscarriage pn dah concieve balik..

people keep asking

im really don't have the answer

but behind the question asked; it makes me open my eyes to actually TRY and TRY

First try (May):

makan EPO.

period kembali teratur

tp my sis x encourage makan tu. dia kata kene makan sihat, exercise and jaga emosi

tp degil dengan alasan "supplement"

tp last2 stop sbb baca dalam forum EPO ni ada kesan untuk jangka masa panjang

beli ovulation prediction kit untuk estimate ovulation day.

tapi tak pernah dapat double line.

berhabis jgk duit beli kit tu. bukan murah. takda budget so STOP.

Second try (Ogos):

period kembali ting tong contact my sister untuk pergi berurut. badan rasa segar

dia bagi ubat jamu pesona. katanya kawan-kawan dia amalkan tak habis sebotol dah pregnant..

Third try (Sept):

for 2nd month makan jamu tu. dah masuk 2 botol dah..tp period mcm apa..

tak berkesan la.. tak lekat2 pon. so STOP..

at the same time amalkan BBT. amik suhu badan setiap pagi lepas bangun tidur.

tapi tak berkesan sbb tak konsisten. graph pun byk lompong..

Fourth try (Oktober):

MALAS la buat BBT lg. Hidup macam biasa.. dah mula rasa putus asa.

soalan diaju pun dah lali. org lain post kt fb pasal pregnancy ke psl anak ke dah no feeling dah

enjoy kerja yang bertimbun2

tapi this months pesan kat mak yg dapat panggilan baitullah untuk doakan anak dia..

Fifth try (November):

sebab awal bulan 11 adalah minggu terakhir sekolah.

dah busy sgt2 dengan majlis anugerah koko la majlis anugerah cemerlang la ada jemputan tarian

rasanya dah lepas waktu subur tapi try saja walaupun mcm ovulation day dah terlepas ( only God knows) 

period lambat lagi nak datang. rasa mcm tak berjaya lg dah survey lppkn nak buat pemeriksaan kesuburan.. dah call.. dapat appointment bulan 1. redha jelah..

plan nak pergi bercuti. nak rest mind. nak hilangkan stress..

TO BE CONTINUED....